Love is complicated, and even more so when you see your former partner settling down with the first person they dated when they refused to commit to you. As I said, complicated? But is it all? Well, TV shows talk a lot of nonsense, but this particular theory from the hit show Sex and the City might hold some value. The theory I’m talking about is the Taxi Cab Theory.
This theory suggests that men are like taxis. They commit when they are ready, not always when they meet the right person. For them, it’s all about timing more than compatibility. Just like a taxi cab!
But is this theory real? Or is it just another pop culture thing? Let’s explore more about the taxi cab theory, how it impacts relationships, and whether you should apply it to your dating life in this post.
What is the Taxi Cab Theory?
The Taxi Cab Theory came from the popular TV show Sex and the City’s character Miranda Hobbes when she compared men to taxi cabs. But why is it called Taxi Cab theory?
While it comes from a fictional background, this theory suggests that men are like taxi cabs, driving around aimlessly, picking up fares, and dropping them off until their “available” light turns on.
This happens when they are ready to commit, and whoever hops into (or happens to be in) the taxi cab is the one they settle down with.
What this theory also suggests is that commitment is not always about finding “The One” but more about being emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship.
So, if a man isn’t ready to commit, it won’t matter how amazing their partner is, he will never take the relationship seriously enough to consider long-term commitment. That will only happen when they feel it is the right time to settle down – it doesn’t matter what kind of person their chosen partner is.
It sounds unfair, doesn’t it? Well, let’s see if this taxi cab theory is real and how it works.
Is The Taxi Cab Theory Real?
While the taxi cab theory makes it easier to understand relationships and their complexities, there could be some truth to it. We all go through different stages in life when we aren’t emotionally ready for something. Anything from personal values and career goals to emotional trauma can hold us back.
In any case, timing plays a huge role in relationships, and more often than not, it’s not about who but when. Let’s see some examples:
- You date someone, but they say they are not ready for the relationship.
- You break up, and a few weeks later, you see them in a relationship, maybe engaged to someone.
This can feel like a rejection, but in truth, it has little to do with you and more about their emotional availability to be in a relationship.
How Does The Taxi Theory Impact Our Relationships?
The taxi cab theory affects our relationship, believe it or not. In relationships, timing matters. No matter how good your chemistry is, if one of you isn’t ready for commitment, the relationship will falter.
The taxi cab theory can affect relationships in ways such as:
1. It can make dating feel like waiting: Women, most often, feel pressured to wait for their partner’s commitment “light” to switch on. Waiting for someone else to get emotionally ready can take the focus off of their own emotional needs.
2. It can cause resentment: If you see your ex moving on so quickly after you ended the relationship, then it can lead to feelings of self-doubt and resentment. It’s not your fault, but the timing. Nonetheless, it feels frustrating.
3. It puts the focus on emotional availability: The taxi cab theory also puts more focus on how successful relationships work when both partners are emotionally ready for one. It can be frustrating at times, but knowing this theory and the patterns can help you make better dating decisions.
Are There Any Limitations to this Theory?
As interesting as this theory seems, there are some limitations to it as well:
- The idea that men have an “available” light sort of ignores the emotional capacity of the gender and the complexities of the relationship they are in. Commitment isn’t a switch to turn on and off, but it’s a process.
- This theory also assumes that men struggle with emotional availability and commitment issues while women just wait. That’s not true. In real life, anyone, regardless of their gender or sex, can have emotional and commitment issues.
- The taxi cab theory also ignores the compatibility point. The theory suggests that the person who is there when the “available” light turns on gets the commitment. However, for any successful relationship, you need connection, compatibility, and shared values.
Should You Apply The Taxi Cab Theory in Your Dating Life?
While the taxi cab theory can help understand dating patterns, it shouldn’t be used as a rule. However, here are some things you can learn from this theory:
Don’t wait for others
If a partner of yours tells you they are not ready for commitment, then believe them. Don’t force yourself to wait for them to change their mind. It might not happen, and in the end, you’ll be the one suffering more.
Focus on your needs too
Are you ready for an emotional commitment? Do you have any plans for your future relationship? Or are you looking for something fleeting? Learn what you need first before you enter a relationship or begin dating.
Find someone compatible
Instead of chasing someone who isn’t ready for a long-term commitment, try to find a partner who is more compatible with you and your needs. Try to seek partners who are ready to commit to a relationship and are emotionally ready for it.
Final Words:
The taxi cab theory comes from the hit show Sex and the City, so should it be taken seriously? Well, it might be a pop culture reference, but it’s an interesting way to look at dating culture. In any case, this should not be treated as a rule when you date someone.
It’s important to understand that timing, compatibility, and chemistry play an important role in relationships. Instead of worrying about your partner’s commitment issues, focus on your emotional needs first.
The next time you think about your partner’s refusal to commit, ask yourself if you’re waiting for a taxi cab or if you need a new destination.
Next Read:
Understanding Dry Begging in Relationships: The Soft Manipulation of Narcissists
Optimist vs. Pessimist Dating – Can Such A Relationship Work?
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