Summer is on our doorstep, and wedding bells are ringing! June is one of the most popular months to get married.
Weddings have a way of evoking mixed feelings–whether it’s one’s own or someone else’s.
Weddings are generally occasions for celebration, happiness and fun. In fact, there seems to be a social expectation, even pressure, to have fun at a wedding. People don’t talk about the less-than-happy feelings.
- Weddings mark change.
- Weddings mark the passage of time.
- Weddings mark choices.
In all of these things, we experience some loss. Our friendships are changing. We are growing older. We are choosing a path with ONE PERSON.
The engaged couple often processes some of these feelings in premarital counseling. But friends and family often don’t realize they have strong feelings until the wedding is upon them. It is important to recognize and process these feelings. In fact, it is something that quarterlifers raise in counseling quite often.
Please understand that these are normal feelings. One can be happy about a wedding, but still have legitimate sadness about the event. As I wrote in a previous blog, envy is an “important source of information for you, providing cues about what you value and desire for your own life.” Although envy may not be the negative feeling you are having, the point is still important—examine the feeling and learn from it. It is helpful to talk about it, share it, and normalize it.
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