Creating a successful romantic relationship requires focus, creativity, and flexibility.
Quarterlife couples often have additional stressors on their relationships typical of young adulthood, such as geographic moves, navigating a long-distance relationship, financial instability, career insecurity, and shifts in social life. With so many transitions, it is common for couples to lose sight of the fact that relationships require nurturing, Here are 3 ways you can improve your relationship.
1. Prioritize self-care.
Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is ultimately your own responsibility. If you find yourself frustrated with your partner for not attending to you and your relationship enough, first check in and make sure that YOU are taking care of yourself enough. When we aren’t adequately nurturing ourselves, we often look to our partner, to fill in those gaps that are ultimately our own responsibility. Before talking to your partner about what he/she is not doing to care for you, make sure YOU are caring for yourself.
Some ideas for self-care include eating regular meals, exercising, having time to unwind, socializing, and getting enough sleep.
2. Choose the more loving way.
When tensions rise and conflict is heightened, partners tend to feel irritated and angry with each other, and they end up in a cycle of criticism. This can make it difficult to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. When you find yourself in this position, try opting for the more loving approach towards your partner. If you are picking at your partner too much, try to focus on aspects of your relationship for which you are grateful. After you identify things you’re grateful for, communicate your appreciation to your partner. This is a helpful step in breaking the cycle of criticism.
3. Have fun together!
Life can be hectic, and couples often find themselves bogged down by daily routines, career schedules, childrearing, and household chores. Because these things tend to demand the most attention, couples may find it difficult to make time for fun and spontaneity. Having fun together is one of the best ways for couples to connect with each other and to feel happier in their relationship.
A helpful activity for couples is to spend time remembering what it was like when you began dating and you were falling in love. What did you enjoy doing together? What types of things did you talk about? What were your dreams for your life together? After reminiscing together about that period of your relationship, each partner can write a list of 10 activities that you’d enjoy doing together. Once you have the combined list of 20 activities, schedule time to do an activity from the list at least once a month.
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