While both premarital counseling and couples counseling help couples connect and communicate, they differ in their structure, style, and goals. During the course of therapy, the two might look identical in a specific moment, but the overall course of each type of counseling looks very different.
Premarital counseling is ideal for couples who are planning to be married or who have decided to make a lifelong commitment to each other. At QLC, this type of counseling is short-term (4-6 sessions) and focuses primarily on the couple’s future together. We help premarital couples improve communication skills and create good habits. Although premarital counseling is tailored to the specific needs and goals of the couple, it usually includes some structured exercises, like creating a vision statement for your marriage. Importantly, it addresses topics that are common triggers for conflict in long-term relationships.
One of our primary goals is for couples to leave premarital counseling with better skills to address issues promptly and effectively. We help couples learn how to recognize warning signs and to know how to communicate with each other about sensitive subjects. Couples learn in premarital counseling that they don’t need to fear talking about the hard stuff.
During your premarital sessions, we will teach you skills for communication and conflict-resolution. If there are particular issues that you want to address more comprehensively, you can transition into longer-term couples counseling. It is common for couples who go through premarital counseling to circle back to their therapist after the wedding to continue couples counseling.
Couples counseling is for couples who are dating or who are already married. This type of counseling usually lasts longer than premarital counseling, and it focuses on both general and particular aspects of your relationship. Couples often seek therapy to improve their relationship, but sometimes couples come to therapy for other reasons as well.
Here are 3 common reasons couples seek therapy:
1. You want help making important decisions about your relationship.
One reason couples seek counseling is because they are thinking of taking the next step in their relationship. Couples counseling can help you make decisions about the future of your relationship, like moving-in together, getting married, or having children. With increased destigmatization of therapy, more couples are seeking therapy as a preventative approach rather than a reactive one in order to address issues earlier in their relationship. They want to address potential areas of conflict before they become larger problems.
2. You are struggling with long-standing issues.
Another reason couples seek therapy is because they are stuck in a cycle of conflict and communication patterns, which may have become toxic for them. We will work with you to find better ways to interact with each other. In order to help you understand what underlies your relationship challenges, we will help you explore your individual histories and the history of your relationship. In couples counseling we don’t just address the problems in your relationship; we also identify your strengths and talk about how to build on what is working well in your relationship.
3. You have decided to separate.
A common misperception is that couples counseling is only for couples who want to stay together and improve their relationship. This is not the only reason people seek couples counseling. Couples who have decided to divorce also seek couples counseling in order to figure out how to have an amicable divorce. Our couples counselors will guide you through decision-making (for co-parenting and shared assets, etc.) during the separation and divorce process. We will also facilitate conflict resolution, while helping you honor the relationship that you’ve had together.
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