As a woman, you’ve likely been brought up to think about your life in a certain way.
At 5, you go to kindergarten.
At 15, you go to high school.
At 22, you graduate from college.
At 25, you get married, and at 30 (maybe even before), you have kids.
If somewhere along the line that timeline gets disrupted, you may feel paralyzed. If you’re in your 30s and still single, are you out of time?
The simple answer is no. You can make time to have what you want in your life. Being a single woman in your 30s, without kids, when you want both marriage and kids is hard, but there are ways to cope with age-related pressure.
Challenge #1: Marriage
When you’re single in your 30s, your relationship status is what everyone seems to fixate on. There’s mounting pressure to settle down. If you haven’t found a partner yet, it can feel like the clock is ticking. And often, having a partner feels like a determining factor for so many other goals you may have (like starting a family).
How to Cope
Remember that the pressure you feel is based on outdated social norms. The data shows that Americans are both getting married and having kids later. Additionally, fewer people are getting married at all. Release yourself from what you “should” be doing and focus on what you really want. If finding a partner is it, you have plenty of time and resources (friends, family, dating apps, speed dating events, social activities, clubs, church, etc.) to help you find your match.
Challenge #2: Children
For many women, there’s this innate feeling that you need to have a child as soon as you enter your 30s. Why? Because that biological clock is ticking. Time could run out, and then you won’t even be able to decide if you want to have kids or not. The decision will be out of your hands entirely.
How to Cope
The data is once again saying that people are delaying having children — mostly for financial reasons. So, don’t look at the decision to have children in your 30s (even your late 30s) as being “behind.” While concerns about your fertility are valid, many people can still get pregnant in their late 30s or early 40s. There are also medical interventions or precautions you can take such as freezing eggs. These are best discussed with your doctor to see if they’re an option for you or even something you want to invest in.
Final Thoughts
Your 30s as a single female can be difficult. Societal pressures will tell you that you should be settled down with everything together. However, that simply isn’t the case for the majority. Give yourself a little grace and allow you to be successful on your own terms. You’re not out of time…you have all the time in the world to have what you want in your life.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please call us at 1-844-QLC-TALK (1-844-752-8255) or email us here.
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