We have heard that the pandemic is over; and shortly after that, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) corrected the claim, informing us that this was not the case, but that we are in a much more hopeful and confident place than ever before. This is just one example of the back-and-forth we have been experiencing for a while now. It seems that we are in another period of transition where we’re trying to adjust to the “new normal.” And it wasn’t too long ago that we had to adapt to the “pandemic normal.”
In March 2020, the world faced a series of forced choices in efforts to adapt to lockdowns, limitations, and losses. Waves of fear, anger, sadness and other complex emotional experiences surfaced, and we did our best to make things work within the confines of our new reality. Through facing our individual and collective suffering, many of us found rhythms, adaptations, and processes that started to work for us. Maybe we sometimes sulked and balked, as we tolerated and accepted what we could not change. We reframed our thinking, problem solved, and connected with others who went through similar experiences. We started to feel a sense of mastery over this new way of existing.
It hasn’t been that long since we have been through The Great Resignation, which later became the Great Talent Reshuffle. Now we’re faced with requirements and demands to adapt again. Maybe we are asked to come back into the office partially or entirely, which completely throws off the rhythm we have grown accustomed to. Maybe classes start in hybrid or in-person, requiring flexible schedules, finding new child or pet care, and coordinating with others and their unique demands. As we return in person, some of our favorite coffee shops or lunch spots have closed, and we must plan our meals differently. Or perhaps we’re recovering from a painful season of suffering and loss. We are asked to adapt but haven’t fully recovered from the previous ups and downs. We might feel emotionally exhausted, indignant, or maybe excited and anxious simultaneously.
How do we emerge from the last 2+ years into these new expectations and demands? The answer is complex and beyond the goal of this blog, but we have a few insights worth considering.
1. Our track record shows that we can do it.
Give yourself credit for all the hard work you’ve put in to adjust to the last two years. Your personal history shows you’re creative and resourceful. If you’re reading this, the chances are that you have resiliently adapted to life’s demands up to this point.
2. Allow and accept emotions, even unpleasant ones.
We had a wide range of emotions at the start of the pandemic and throughout it. We will likely experience similar waves of sadness, fear, anger, and anxiety connected to a new set of circumstances. Instead of pushing them away, allow them to show up and pass, just like the waves of the oceans do.
3. Suffering can come from various sources, but our responses are limited.
Dr. Marsha Linehan offered a practical framework to deal with problems. In providing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Dr. Linehan validates that difficulties, distress, pain, and suffering can come from a myriad of sources; however, we can typically respond in the following four ways:
- Solve for the source of the problem: when that is feasible, when there is a solution, and you have the resources and willingness to implement it.
- Change how you feel about the source of distress by changing your thoughts concerning it. In therapy, we often work on reframing or exploring and making meaning of our difficult experiences that we cannot change.
- Tolerate the problem until a solution is evident. That may not change how we feel about it, but it will allow us to get through something difficult without making it worse.
- Do nothing and remain miserable. That usually requires the least amount of energy and also provides the least amount of relief
So as we feel challenged to adapt yet again, let’s remind ourselves that we have adapted before, that our feelings are valid, and that we have options to consider as we emerge into a new season.
Additionally, the counselors at the Quarterlife Center are here to help you process these changes.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please call us at 1-844-QLC-TALK (1-844-752-8255) or email us here.
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