If you’re a parent of a quarterlifer, you may be looking at your son or daughter in distress. These 20- or 30-something Millennials and Gen Z-ers are at a pivotal point in their lives, and along with everything else going on, the last couple of years haven’t been easy on them. Yet, as much as you want to help, sometimes your actions may be making the situation worse (doesn’t every parent love to hear that!). In this blog, we’ll discuss the top 3 mistakes that parents of quarterlifers make and how you can redirect your energy and actions to actually improve their situation.
1. You offer too much help
We all know these types of parents — and you might be one of them. Those that are overbearing and micromanaging. Of course, they mean well and want to help their child. It’s difficult to see your child struggling, and as a parent, you want to do anything you can to help them.
However, now that your children are emerging adults, they’re developing independence and autonomy. This is the time to let them take the reins and help them find the resources to do things on their own. Let your kids fall down, skin their knees, and figure it out themselves. It may not be easy for them (or you!), but it’ll be better for everyone in the long run.
2. You don’t let them help themselves
No one wants to be an enabler, but this is often what parents of quarterlifers are. They do things for their children that they should really be doing for themselves. If your quarterlife child is living with you or you’re financially supporting them, make sure you set boundaries and talk about expectations. You can be helpful to your child and support them without doing everything.
For example, if they are living with you, discuss how they should help around the house and demonstrate responsibility for taking care of the home. What chores should be completed on a weekly basis? How will they work towards their goals while living with you? The best way to support them is by ensuring they are continuing to grow themselves!
3. You wait too long to open up communication
If you see your quarterlifer is struggling, then you may think it’s best to leave them be. Unfortunately, this is a common mistake that parents make. They take too long to open up communication and offer their support. Having a quarterlife crisis is very real, and it is often accompanied by depression and anxiety that must be treated with therapy, medication, or both. Reach out to them and let them know that you’re here, concerned, and ready to support them in a way that works for both of you.
Final thoughts
Do you have a quarterlife child that you’re trying to help? Early adulthood is a common time that low levels of anxiety and depression can become more acute. Your child isn’t alone!
Visit the Quarterlife Center for more resources. Contact us here.
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