Unconditional love is keeping your heart open all the time. It is a free expression of love that emerges from within you when you let go of expectations and attachments for a specific end result.
Unconditional love means letting go of any need for people to act in a certain way or give you things.
To love unconditionally is to let go of the need for others to respond with love.
Most of the time, we grow up and are programmed to wait for other people to be warm and loving before we are. This is the opposite of unconditional love.
Learn to Be the Source of Love
Unconditional love is learning to be the source of love rather than waiting for others to be the source.
Pause and take a breath
Am I desperate for end results?
Do I expect everything to go the way I want it to?
Do I focus on achieving goals my way?
Do I want others to love me?
Can I join with others easily?
Do I know my personal boundaries?
When we constantly try to make things happen, control and interfere with how things progress to achieve an outcome, we often do more harm than good. When we are not emotionally attached to our behaviour and responses and what we are doing, life has a way of finding its own course, the divine course.
Letting go of expectations, of course, is more easily said than done. We have all been conditioned to ‘achieve’. We manipulate people and events to get things done.
When I was a child, I always wanted to get my own way. What child doesn’t? At that stage, it is all we know. I remember storming out of the house when I was nine years old. I was wearing my pink platforms, stomping up the road and sitting under a big tree because my Mum wouldn’t let me have what I wanted. I swear, I will never go home or speak to her again. My heart was thumping and my face was flushed with anger. My whole body was shaking with fury. After about an hour, My Dad will be home from work and I’m hungry. I went home and soon forgot about the whole thing. It is easier to let things go as a child. It is more complicated as adults, due to the extra pressure we have to deal with from outside us and especially from within.
Even at that age, I recognised the power struggle between myself and my Mum. At a childhood level, I was aware of being responsible for my reactions, actions and the behaviour associated with my feelings. I wish I had known about unconditional love.
I knew I was responsible for my own reactions, actions, behaviour and feelings. I had not been told about unconditional love then. I wish I had.
These days, if I find something or someone irritating, I use it as an exercise to experience and express unconditional love. After trying this a few times, I realised it is far more rewarding to love than to feel irritated. It simply takes practice.
Flow in the Moment
To reside in unconditional love is to recognise the perfection of each moment and flow along with things as they present themselves to us.
To the twenty-first-century mind, this may not be the most attractive concept. We are accustomed to the need for control and making things happen. The mind is in constant overdrive.
This is why so many people are full of stress and anxiety and in turn, this can develop into psychological problems and physical illness.
The practice of unconditional love is uncomplicated. It is a simple acceptance of things as they are.
Pause and take a breath
Do you resonate with any of these sentences?
I yearn to be separate.
I feel suffocated in relationships.
I resent being asked to do things I don’t want to do.
I regularly blame other people for my circumstances.
I don’t like requests being made of me.
I resent other people making demands on me.
I need things from other people most of the time.
I shy away from commitments.
I feel a sense of loss of identity around other people.
I try to use other people to fill a space.
Making the Shift
Be very patient with yourself when you begin to make the self-changes to evolve unconditional love. Do not expect to achieve this state overnight.
It takes courage to slow down and begin to taste the flavour of each moment.
The key is to approach everything, including the change of habits and patterns, with a new sense of joy and lightness.
As you gradually adjust your mindset and reactions, you naturally experience everything with love and joy.
Unconditional love brings a new flow of beauty to everything and everyone you encounter. Most of all, love brings beauty to you throughout all levels of your being.
Develop Patience and Tolerance
The first stage of a shift to a higher state of living is to develop patience and tolerance, especially with yourself.
Getting Started
Pause and take a breath
I recognise my own patterns.
I have a desire to join with others.
I relish intimate connections.
I know how much of myself I want to give.
I know I am self-contained and draw on inner strength.
I know when the balance between myself and other people feels right.
I take my time with things.
Inner Strength and Unconditional Love Come from Letting Go
When we live in unconditional love, we open ourselves up to many surprises. Our creativity and expression unfold and expand, and we find ourselves magically performing previously difficult tasks with fun and ease.
When you respond with love, you transform the nature and character of every situation. You become a source of healing to everything and everyone around you.
Pause and take a breath
I release and relax all my expectations.
I let go of stubborn and fixed ideas.
I let go of always wanting something in return.
I know unconditional love makes things turn out well.
I know unconditional love allows positive ideas to flow.
When I love unconditionally, I receive more than I ever dreamed of.
Practice Broadcasting the Power of Love
Use the power of your loving heart to create moments of joy and peace with someone.
Do what you need to do to relax your body. Stretch a little, go for a five-minute walk.
Be aware of your posture, use cushions to support your back and hips.
Relax and close your eyes.
Sit comfortably and connect to your breath.
Take slow, steady breaths and feel your body breathe.
Take a slow, deep in-breath.
On your out breath, relax the muscles around your feet, legs and thighs.
On your next in-breath, relax your abdomen, back and shoulders.
On the third in-breath, relax your hands and arms.
On the fourth in-breath, your face, neck and head relax.
Now, bring your attention to the centre of your chest and feel your chest rise and fall as you breathe.
Continue to let go of any tension through your out breath.
Now focus deep inside. Take your time with this.
I bring my attention to my heart centre.
I remember the lotus flower of my heart.
Each time I breathe, the petals of the lotus flower softly open.
I remember a beautiful, positive and uplifting experience.
I relive the feelings and emotions I have around the experience.
The feelings grow stronger.
The image grows brighter and more vibrant.
I think of someone I love and respect deeply. (This can be a loved one, a child, a friend, whoever comes to mind in the moment.)
This person has affected me in a very beautiful and positive way.
I experience fully the deep feelings I have towards this person.
The feelings and emotions become more powerful.
The feelings in my heart are soft and loving.
The feelings in my heart become a vortex of love and light.
I send feelings of love and deep appreciation to this person.
I receive deep love and appreciation from this person.
We join and share in unconditional love.
All-embracing love expands between and around us.
My heart and being know only love and light.
Together, we are love itself.
I am open now, to allow myself to love and accept myself in the same way.
I am a radiant beacon of love energy.
What can I do that may help this person?
What can I do to help myself?
Trust the answers and remember they can be subtle. It is a good idea to write them down. Act on the answers given to you and welcome the results with the flow of unconditional love and joy.
Continue to let go of the need to control the outcome and expectations of things happening in a certain timeframe. Simply allow the natural order of love to flow.
Use the Power of Unconditional Love to Transform
As you continue to tune into and practice broadcasting the power of unconditional love, you can begin to use it in other constructive and transformational ways.
Practice residing in the power of love in your heart as often as possible so that it becomes natural.
As you regularly connect with the love in your heart, you become filled with light. You cultivate the power to affect the world around you positively.
If someone in your life sends out negative energy, the best response is to send them your heart power energy of unconditional love.
Remind yourself that they are being themselves and doing the best they know how. When you accept them and let go of wanting them to behave in a certain way, you will discover a deep inner peace.
Be the beacon of radiant love and light energy you were born to be. The more you practice, the higher your consciousness will go and the brighter a beacon you will become.
If someone is sending out prickly or negative energy and you send them unconditional love and acceptance for who they are, they cannot harm you, and the love and light will help to heal both them and you.
“When you give and expect a return, that’s an investment, but when you give and expect nothing, that’s pure love” – Buddha
Unconditional Love to Transform Yourself
When you practice the gift of unconditional love to open your heart and fill yourself with the power of love and light, you can begin to use the power to transform your own life.
If there is an area of your life where you feel afraid, if there is something you think is unachievable, unconditional love creates a sense of safety and the assurance that you are loved and cared for. All you have to do is remember to tune into your heart power.
Pause and take a breath
Is there an area in your life that you would like to change?
Have you had obstacles to making the changes?
Write down the changes you would like to make.
Write down the old reasons why you cannot possibly create the change. List all the subconscious and unconscious fears, large and small.
Use the previous exercise to tune into your love and light-hearted power.
Connect to the deep love.
Send your unconditional love to every part of yourself that doesn’t think you can create the change.
Send your deep love and acceptance to all the fearful, doubtful voices.
Surrender them to the power of unconditional love.
The doubts turn into positive energies full of transformational love.
If it helps, you can flip the doubts and fears into positive affirmations to help you throughout the day.
Whenever you connect to love and give love, it comes back to you and changes your vibration and aura. You are magnetic to love and it flows towards you from the universe and all around you.
When you practice unconditional love, your heart opens with softness and light. You flow free, in the moment. You have no expectations of someone’s behaviour or approval. Love has the power to transform everything. All you need to do is tune back into love and let the universe guide you and flow with the divine plan.
“Until he has unconditional love and unbiased love for all beings, man will not find peace.” Buddha
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