If you have also spent hours trying to decide which cafe to go to, which movie to see, or where to go on vacation, only to feel indecisive and anxious, then that’s FOBO for you. FOBO, also known as Fear of Better Options, is exactly what it says on the pack.
FOBO is the voice in your head that keeps saying, “What if?” What if there was something better out there than this option? What if there is someone better than your current partner?
This is the reason you keep looking for options to go out, to watch, to eat, etc. FOBO is the reason you take a long time to decide and why you end up not choosing at all. With too many options available, it’s no wonder you get confused, but constant FOBO can be exhausting.
In this post, I’ll help you understand what FOBO is, how it affects us, and how you can overcome it.
What is FOBO: The Fear of Better Options?
FOBO is a new age slang to describe the struggle of having too many options to choose from. This term was coined by Patrick McGinnis, the same person who gave us FOMO (the fear of missing out). FOBO is the indecisiveness you face when you constantly think that there are better options just around the bend.
Unlike FOMO, the fear of better options makes you feel anxious about making the wrong choice. It creates a cycle of overthinking, second-guessing, and eventually feeling dissatisfied with your choices, even if they are good.
Some common FOBO examples in everyday life can be:
- Spending hours looking for the best place to go out to eat and ending up too tired to go out.
- Trying to pick a good outfit to wear, and running late because it took too long.
- Not deciding on something, thinking (hoping) something better will come along.
If these situations feel familiar to you, then, my friend, that’s FOBO you’re experiencing. Now, let’s look at how FOBO affects us.
FOBO And Its Impact on Life
In the big picture, FOBO doesn’t seem much of a threat, but in little ways, it can take a toll on your mental health and even relationships. How? Let’s look:
It can cause decision paralysis
When you have too many choices, you might become overwhelmed and enter into decision paralysis. This means you end up making no decisions, affecting your career, job, relationship, and even everyday life.
It causes anxiety
When you always look for better options, it leaves you dissatisfied with your current decisions. In many ways, this can cause you to feel anxious and stressed.
It impacts your relationships
FOBO can even affect your relationships as you keep wondering if there’s someone better for you in the world. This can prevent you from forming healthy connections with your partner.
What Causes FOBO?
The fear of better options or FOBO is caused by a lot of factors. Some common factors that cause FOBO can include:
1. Too many options
With so many options available to us, it can become harder to pick one. This can be overwhelming and end up in you experiencing decision paralysis.
2. Perfectionism
Yes, even perfectionism can cause FOBO. Perfectionism wants you to make the best choice. This causes a fear that if you settle for something, it might just be “good enough,” not perfect.
3. Fear of making a mistake
You don’t want to make a decision that turns out to be a mistake later on. I get that. But FOBO is caused by that fear, a fear that choosing an option might be a mistake you’ll end up regretting.
4. The grass is greener thinking
Another cause of FOBO is the ‘grass is greener’ thinking. This means that you keep thinking there’s something better out there. Eventually, this makes it harder to appreciate what’s in front of you.
5. The fear of commitment
The fear of commitment can also cause FOBO, as making a choice means turning away from other opportunities. That can be scary, indeed. But, the more options you have, the more it can lead to indecision, anxiety, and stress.
So, how can you overcome the fear of better options? Let’s take a look.
7 Ways to Overcome FOBO
Here are some simple ways you can fight FOBO and not let it ruin your life:
Narrow down your options
One of the causes of FOBO is having too many options, right? So, why not narrow down your choices? For example, if you’re looking for cafes to go to, pick the top three to choose from. For bigger decisions, shortlist the options you think are the best and focus on that.
Have a time limit
Most importantly, avoid overthinking about your options. Have a time limit and decide within that time frame. For small decisions, set a limit for a few minutes. For bigger ones, set a deadline for a few days or weeks, no longer.
Change your mentality
Not all decisions you make will be perfect, and that’s okay. Sometimes, being good enough could be perfect. Change your thinking when it comes to making a choice, and let go of perfectionism. It might hold you back more than help you.
Have a pros and cons list
If you’re stuck on an option, then make a pros and cons list. Don’t complicate it too much. Jot down the most important points and focus on that.
Go with your instinct
When it comes to the right decision, not a perfect one, then it’s always good to listen to your instinct and move with that. If your gut says it’s a good decision, then don’t overthink it or second-guess it. Trust yourself and your instincts to make the right choice.
Appreciate what’s in front of you
One of the effects of FOBO is that it makes you lose sight of what’s in front of you. Try to focus on what you have rather than what you could have. Be grateful for what you have. Appreciate your friends, family, and partner. When you focus on the present, your FOBO can fade away.
Make a choice, even if it’s not perfect
Sometimes, the best way to overcome and fight FOBO is just to make a choice. Start small. Don’t overthink much, and stick with your decision. It might take some time, but the more you practice, the easier it’ll get to make a decision.
Don’t Let The Fear of Better Options Hold You Back:
FOBO, or the fear of better options, can be sneaky, but don’t let it ruin your life. Narrow down your choices, set deadlines, listen to your gut, and make decisions with confidence (even if they are not the perfect ones).
There’s no such thing as perfection, so don’t let the thoughts of the same hold you back. See what’s in front of you, make a choice, and stop second-guessing yourself. Trust that everything will be okay in the end.
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