What You Need to Know

Parents and our relationship with them are important for our development and other relationships we form in our lives. After all, it’s our parents with whom we learn how to build and manage relationships. However, there is a new term related to parental relationships, “parental alienation syndrome (PAS).”

Parental alienation syndrome has gained attention over the years, especially in psychology. This term describes an experience where one parent manipulates their child to reject and alienate the other parent without a reason. This emotionally charged issue can have far-reaching impacts on families and children involved.

In this article, we’re exploring the signs, impacts, and ways to address and prevent parental alienation syndrome in families.

What is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?

Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS was introduced in the 1980s by Dr. Richard Gardner. This syndrome was described as a disorder that occurs in the context of parental relationships, specifically child-parent custody. This syndrome occurs when a child becomes estranged from one of the parents because of the mental and emotional manipulation done by the other parent.

PAS is the kind of manipulation that can be subtle or overt, but it always involves belittling the alienated parent, causing fear and distrust, and creating a toxic relationship where the child feels obligated to choose sides.

One of the characteristics of the parental alienation syndrome is the child’s unfair rejection of the parent. Keep in mind that this rejection isn’t based on the alienated parent’s actions but on the influence of the parent initiating the alienation. PAS can manifest in ways such as the child showing reluctance to spend time with one parent and even in ways where the child refuses to speak to the parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome Symptoms to Know

Identifying the signs and symptoms of PAS can be quite difficult as the symptoms can be subtle and easily mistaken. Children tend to react distantly when their parents divorce or get separated.

However, some common signs can occur that can help you recognize parental alienation syndrome;

• The child has an unfounded fear or dislike towards one of their parents
• The child shows signs of unwavering support for one parent and has negative feelings toward the other parent
• The child shows no signs of guilt for their negative feelings or behavior towards the alienated parent
• The child uses language and phrases that are not appropriate for their age, mimicking the alienating parent’s language
• The child rejects the alienated parent’s family and friends

Apart from these signs of alienation, there are some common parental alienation syndrome symptoms that you need to watch out for in children;

• Significant emotional distress
• Feelings of abandonment
• Aggression and social withdrawal
• Difficulties in school — academic and behavioral
• Confusion about their self-identity and self-worth

The Impact of PAS on Children

The impact of parental alienation on the child can be long-lasting. The psychological and emotional manipulation done to a child can persist in their adult relationships, self-esteem, and mental health as well.

For one, the alienation can be traumatic for an already distressed child, causing long-term emotional issues. The child’s ability to build and maintain healthy relationships can be compromised, and they might even struggle with trust and intimacy issues in their adult relationships.

The constant negativity they receive from one parent for the other can impact the child’s self-esteem and self-worth. They might even begin to question their identity and how they fit into the mess of their parental relationship. This, eventually, can put them at a higher risk of developing mental health disorders such as depression, personality disorders, and anxiety disorders.

Parental alienation syndrome can also cause a lot of stress on the child, causing behavioral issues that can last well into their teenage years and adulthood. These behaviors can cause them to turn to substance use, irrational risks, wrong decision-making, and delinquent actions to cope with it all.

How to Treat Parental Alienation Syndrome?

Addressing and treating parental alienation syndrome calls for a multifaceted approach. This can include involving therapists and healthy co-parenting. Here are some ways PAS can be treated and addressed;

1. Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy approaches such as one-to-one therapy for the child can help address the emotional turmoil the child is experiencing. Therapy can also help rebuild the damaged parent-child relationship.

Some common approaches that can be used for parental alienation syndrome treatment include;

• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is an approach that can help change the child’s negative thoughts and behaviors toward the alienated parent into positive ones.
• Family Therapy: Another approach to treating the damage caused by parental alienation syndrome could be family therapy. Herein, a therapist gives a safe space where the parents and the child involved can share their experiences, thoughts, and feelings without conflicts.
• Play Therapy: Among other approaches, play therapy can also benefit children. Play therapy for children involves helping children who can’t express the feelings they are experiencing via play activities.

2. Interventions

In some severe cases of PAS, court and legal interventions could be needed. Legal and court interventions can include custody changes, supervised visitations, and other adjustments to avoid further manipulation of the child and their feelings towards one or both parents.

Preventing Parental Alienation Syndrome

Parents and therapists can also be involved in strategies to prevent PAS and to commit to healthy co-parenting. Here are some ways to prevent parental alienation;

• Communicate openly: Having open and healthy communication between the child and the parents can ensure that the child feels safe in speaking their mind.
• Avoid negative language: Another way to prevent PAS from affecting the child is to ensure that no negative language is used when speaking about the child or the parent involved.
• Have a routine: Children thrive on routines and stability, so as a parent, it is important to ensure that the child feels comfortable and secure within the relationship. This can include regular visitation with the other parent and involving the parent in the child’s activities.
• Encourage a healthy relationship: Supporting and encouraging the child’s relationship with the estranged parent can also help prevent parental alienation. This could also involve modeling healthy behavior and cooperation with the other parent as children mimic what they see.
• Seek support: If you, as a parent/teacher/guardian, notice signs and symptoms of parental alienation syndrome, then it’s important to seek support and help from a therapist. Early help and intervention can prevent PAS from completely impacting the child’s well-being.

Wrapping Up…

Parental alienation syndrome is a complicated form of manipulation that can leave long-lasting, if not traumatic, scars on a child’s psyche. Knowing how to recognize parental alienation syndrome symptoms early on can help reduce its negative impacts. With the help of professional therapists, counselors, and legal practitioners, parents can commit to healthy co-parenting.

Keep in mind that the child’s well-being here is paramount. Every child deserves to have a loving and healthy relationship with both of their parents, without manipulation or unfair influence.

I hope this article helped! Let me know what you think about the impact of parental alienation syndrome on children and their relationships with their parents, in the comments below.

Take Care!