8 Rules for Surviving Valentine’s Day with a Situationship

Valentine’s Day with a situationship can be a tricky balance to strike. You’re not quite in a full-fledged relationship, but there’s an undeniable connection between you and the other person. This makes the holiday feel like a bit of a gray area — neither here nor there. On one hand, you might feel the urge to celebrate it with gestures of affection, but on the other hand, you don’t want to overstep boundaries or create expectations that aren’t yet there. So, how do you approach Valentine’s Day when things aren’t clearly defined? I’m glad you asked because we are happy to help:

8 Rules for Surviving Valentine’s Day with a Situationship

1. Don’t Assume—Just Ask

Look, the worst thing you can do is assume you’re both on the same page about Valentine’s Day with your situationship. Some people treat it like a normal day, while others secretly hope for something special. A simple, casual conversation—something like, “Hey, are we doing anything for Valentine’s?”—can save you from confusion, disappointment, or awkward surprises. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but knowing where you both stand will make things way easier.

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2. Keep It Fun, Not Forced

The key to handling your situationship this Valentine’s Day is to keep things light. You don’t need to go all out with candlelit dinners and love letters if that’s not where you’re at. Instead, do something fun that doesn’t scream serious relationship. Think casual drinks, a movie night, or even just grabbing your favorite takeout together. The goal is to enjoy the time, not turn it into something bigger than it is (unless you both want that).

3. Skip the Pressure

Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot of unnecessary pressure, especially when you’re not in a defined relationship. But here’s the thing—just because it’s a romantic holiday doesn’t mean you have to act like a full-blown couple. If you usually text all the time and hang out, keep that same energy. If you’re unsure what to do, think about what feels right rather than what society says you should be doing.

4. A Small Gesture Goes a Long Way

You don’t need to show up with an over-the-top gift, but a little thoughtfulness can make the day feel nice without it being too much. Maybe send a funny meme in the morning, bring their favorite snack, or say something sweet in a low-pressure way. If they do something for you in return, great! If not, that also tells you something about where you stand.

5. Be Real About What You Want

If spending Valentine’s Day with a situationship is making you feel weird—like, deep down, you actually want something more—it’s okay to admit that to yourself. Maybe you’re catching real feelings and need to talk about it, or maybe you realize you don’t want to keep things casual anymore. Whatever it is, don’t ignore your own emotions just because you don’t want to rock the boat. If this day brings up feelings, take a moment to process what they mean for you.

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6. Don’t Get Caught Up in Social Media

Scrolling through Instagram and seeing couples post their “perfect” Valentine’s Day can make you start overthinking your own situation. But remember, half of those posts are just for show. Your situationship might not come with flowers and grand gestures, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valid in its own way. Focus on what’s actually happening between you two, not what the internet tells you Valentine’s Day should look like.

7. Know Your Boundaries

Valentine’s Day with your situationship can be fun—until one of you unknowingly crosses a line. If you’re not ready for big romantic gestures, make sure your actions match that. If you don’t want to spend the night together because it feels too couple-like, that’s okay too. On the flip side, if they seem distant and it hurts, ask yourself if this situationship is truly working for you. Protect your feelings just as much as theirs. But please, please avoid the “what are we” conversation on V-day. Think about it first and confirm your feelings before bringing it up with them.

8. Do What Makes Sense for YOU

At the end of the day, there’s no right or wrong way to handle Valentine’s Day with a situationship. Some people treat it like any other day, some go on a fun date with no strings attached, and some use it as a moment to reassess what they really want. The most important thing? Do what makes sense for you. If it feels good, enjoy it. If it feels off, pay attention to that. Valentine’s Day is just a day, but how you feel about your situationship? That’s what really matters.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, the biggest takeaway is to just be real with each other and with yourself. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a defining moment in your situationship. It’s just a day, and you’ll figure out where you stand with time. Don’t force anything—just let it flow naturally.

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