As an introvert, I’m quite fond of texting my friends over calling them. That’s just my preference, but I’ve met some people in my life, who love being on calls day and night! Now, I have nothing against them; I have extroverted friends, so I get the need to stay in touch throughout the day.
What I find difficult to accept are people who are in need of attention, always. Who constantly want to feel reassured and validated, and who doesn’t let go of small things.
These people can be classified as “needy people” and it can become extremely frustrating to deal with them. It’s exhausting when you’re always giving and never receiving the same care in return.
This article covers how to recognize the habits of needy people and the psychology behind neediness. Knowing these habits might help you avoid them or understand their need for…neediness.
So, let’s see how to spot needy people in life.
10 Habits of Needy People
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They Are Attention-Seekers
We all want love and attention, but the kind of attention needy people seek is very different from the normal kind. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting attention, if this need becomes a constant one, then it becomes toxic. Needy people want to be the center of attention, all the time. This can make it harder for their loved ones to deal with their attention-seeking behavior.
Needy people want to spend all their free time with others who offer them validation and attention. This can signify clinginess. If you can’t be physically near them, they might resort to phone calls and texts to be near you. This makes them lose their sense of boundaries – theirs and of others.
I feel insecure, but a needy person’s insecurities are a lot compared to others. They have little to no confidence in themselves and can feel envious of others. Because of their low self-esteem and insecurities, they might end up wanting excessive attention and reassurance from others.
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They Need External Validation
Your self-worth depends on the way you see yourself, right? Well, for needy people, their self-worth depends on external validation. They seek so much value from others that they don’t feel any confidence in themselves. This need for external validation can come from factors such as attachment issues or trauma in the past.
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They Can’t Make Decisions
Needy people lack confidence in themselves, which can also make them bad decision-makers. They don’t trust themselves enough and end up looking up to others for advice and help. Now, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, but with needy people, it can turn into a lack of accountability when it comes to their actions. In the end, they end up blaming others for their mistakes or poor decisions.
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They Are Fearful of Being “Left Alone”
If a person has experienced abandonment in the past or has attachment issues, then they are more likely to develop neediness. This makes needy people fearful of being left alone. They cling to others because they are scared of being abandoned – emotionally or physically. This can be a toxic habit, but it’s what makes a needy person feel safe.
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Communication Isn’t Their Strong Suit
While it’s true that needy people want to stay connected with you throughout the day, it doesn’t mean that their communication skills are good. This need to be with others can make it even harder for needy people to express their needs and feelings. The needy person in your life might need instant replies, but they are not as strong to be vulnerable with you and tell you why.
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They Can’t Trust Others
We all want to trust others, but this habit of needy people can make it difficult for them to trust others. They find it hard to trust people around them and in the end, they drive them away. A needy person needs your time, but they can’t trust you when you’re not with them. This can make you feel suffocated and exhausted.
Needy people tend to overreact and be dramatic. They lose their feelings towards small things and never truly explain what triggered them. One moment they will be fine, and the next, they will sulk or lash out. This can make you feel like you’re walking on thin ice and in the end, you might lie just to avoid triggering them.
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They Might Be Manipulative
Another habit of needy people is that they might be manipulative. Because of their insecurities and low self-esteem, they might end up using manipulative tactics to keep people in their vicinity. While this doesn’t come from a bad place, it can make you feel used.
Why Are People Needy?
One of the reasons why people are needy could be because of attachment issues. As a child, we develop attachments with our parents or caregivers, and these attachments stay with us throughout our adulthood. If you’re not loved by your parents, then you might end up seeking attention from your spouse, as an adult.
There are four kinds of attachment styles; secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious or fearful attachment, and disorganized attachment.
Needy people typically show signs of anxious or fearful attachment style. This can manifest in needy people as;
- A fear of abandonment
- A need for constant reassurance
- A need for constant attention
- A lack of self-esteem or self-worth
- A tendency to be dependent on others
Wrapping Up…
This neediness can show up in various behaviors such as attention-seeking, feeling insecure, and manipulation. You might care for someone – a friend, partner, or family member, but if they exhibit signs of needy behaviors, it can become exhausting and frustrating for you to deal with them.
Being needy isn’t a bad trait, but most of the time, it’s our wounded inner child wanting the attention and love it deserves but didn’t receive. So, why not show compassion for the needy person in your life? A little kindness and empathy in understanding their reasons for being needy might go a long way in helping them heal.
Do you agree with these habits of needy people? Let us know if you’ve seen other habits or need to add anything to our list. We’ll add yours to our article.
Take Care!
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